I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Everclear isn't food dammit
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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