I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
