is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
