I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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