I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We just shotgunned beers for America
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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