goodnight i made you a song goodbye
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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