i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
