Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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