I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
