My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i out mim tonsoeep
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