I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
