I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I will be naked everywhere
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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