I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
