So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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