Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
