i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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