Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
