I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
the day after is always just damage control
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
