I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
