I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
