Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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