I wish I could punch you in the face.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
