just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
