how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
