You're completely useless in the revolution.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
