i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
