Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
