i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
