I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
