oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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