thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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