Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize