ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Slut skills are useful in every country.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
