Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
