Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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