My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
