Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
