i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
