Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
