allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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