It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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