totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she smelled like a LAN party
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im holly from the hills drunk
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
