Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
