Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
