Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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