Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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