My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm always down for nudity.
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