No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
