U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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