woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
