Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I would ride that face into the sunset
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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