sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
