Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
